Helicopters

There are some new buzz words out there that parents are hearing everywhere, "helicopter parents" and "free-range parents". It is basically comparing parents who stand over their children monitoring everything they do and parents who stand on the side lines and let their children make their own choices and their own mistakes. Helicopter parents are at obvious risk of having children that are overly dependent of their parents and unable to make decisions for themselves. That being said, I hope that someday I can graduate to being a helicopter mom, as I am currently a Zamboni mom. I have not ever heard of a Zamboni mom in any of the parenting books, but my sister and I have both decided that is exactly what we are; we are out in front of our children paving the environment to be exactly what we want for them, not allowing for any troubles or wrong choices in their path. I am not saying this is the right way to parent, or even what I ever thought I would be as a parent, but it is what I have turned into. Recently, while Jack and I were at the ball pit (yes, I was IN the ball pit with him!), a little girl asked me why I wasn't working out with the rest of the mommies. Yes, I need the work-out, but I couldn't stand the idea of leaving Jack with some stranger hired to watch the kids. (And when I say "watch", she was actually sitting nearby, texting on her phone the entire time, not even sure how many kids she was actually "watching".)

Having a 4 year old question your parenting skills really makes you wonder where you went wrong. So, there I was, in a germ infested ball pit, trying to explain to a four year old that I actually like playing with my son. And then I started to wonder, am I in this ball pit for his own safety or my own sanity. There were two dozen other moms who felt quite comfortable leaving their children with the gym's daycare and I wouldn't even consider it. The kids were happy and no one had lost a limb despite not having mommy within an arm's reach.

The criteria for watching my children used to be that I had once been in that womb but my criteria has now laxed into people who I have known for over a year and that they would be willing to die to rescue my children. As far as leaving my children with people that the gym has hired, well, I don't think I will be ready for that hurdle for a long time, but soon, hopefully I will come out of the ball pit and let Jack experience it without me protecting him from every ball that is thrown in his direction. (And if you know Jack, you know that I am in there for the protection of the other children as well. )

Hopefully, by the time Jack enters college, I will have graduated to a level above helicopter mom and allow him to leave home to live in a dorm. I know I still won't be ready to be a free-range mom by then, as I do plan on making Jack and Lucy go to the same college so that Jay and I can relocate to the city of their choice!

If you haven't met my children, I am sure that after reading this post, you are picturing very needy and reserved kids. Well, let me assure you that despite my parenting, Jack is one of the most independent, outgoing and active kids I have ever met. Good thing that nature triumphs over nurture!