February 2010
February 1st, Jack started preschool. As usual, Jack talked a pretty big talk about going to preschool. For the days leading up to it, he talked all about how he was going to play with his friends while Mommy and Lucy went back home.
On the actual day, there could not have been a child more excited than he. He was thrilled and not an ounce of nervousness. When we arrived at his school, he told me I couldn't hold his hand inside because he is a big kid now. (Feeling a little sob in my throat as I write that, as I still am heartbroken.) So, I walked next to him as he cruised into his classroom. He hung up his things and told me to leave. I insisted on staying for at least a few minutes, much to his dismay.
When the teacher said it was time to leave, Lucy and I made our exit, sadly. Jack however, didn't even seem the slightest bit bothered by us leaving. When I returned to pick him up, I peeked in the window (on the door! I wasn't hanging out in the bushes spying on the class! OK, maybe I wanted to, but I didn't, mainly because it was a second floor classroom) and saw that Jack was sitting on the teachers lap and holding a wet wipe (Jack is obsessed with wet-wipes and will want one if he is crying). I know my son. I knew this was not a good sign. When class was let out, I found out that Jack's excitement for preschool didn't quite last as long as the 2 hour class. He cried when he saw me and told me he is
done with school. As I have no plans on homeschooling for the next 16 years, I knew that we must work past this.
On the morning of his next class, he was sad, he didn't want to go but was trying so hard to be brave and not cry. On the drive to class, he asked me to sing to him one of his favorite songs. While I was singing, I noticed he wasn't, he was just starring out the window with a sad face (yes, my throat still has the lump in it from that moment). I asked him to sing with me and he responded, "No, Mama, you sing, I am too sad.". Awwwwww! I wanted sooooooo badly to turn the car around and never make him go to school again, but I knew that he would love it as soon as he got used to being away from me. I forced myself to keep going. I forced myself to bring him to his classroom. I forced myself to leave the classroom while he was crying in his teacher's arms. I wanted to sit outside his classroom for the whole two hours (and cry), and , luckily I kind of could. His preschool requires that on one day of the week, all of the parents go to a room for parent education. This required me to put Lucy in their on-site daycare. I was pretty worried about dropping her off too, as it was during her normal naptime.
At the end of the parent education, I went to Jack's classroom as fast as my legs could get me there. I saw through the window that he was sitting on a chair near the door, clutching his wet-wipe while all of the other students were sitting in circle time. They said he had a hard time, but were sure enxt week would go better.
Jack and I then went to pick up Lucy, who it turns out, did great! She loved the daycare! She loved the teachers, she loved the toys. The teachers loved Lucy, they loved all of her cuddles and they loved that Lucy doesn't cry when you have to end cuddle time.
This is pretty much how Preschool went for the month. Jack cried almost every time, but less and less each time. Every preschool morning (Tuesdays and Thursdays), he would tell me if he was going to do a lot of crying or a little of crying. And, you know what, the kid was pretty accurate. Lucy, however, loved preschool each and every week and the teachers loved her as well. Never a single tear from that little lady.
One week, Jay was able to come with us. Jack was really excited to show Jay his classroom, but when it came time for the parents to go to the other room, Jack told us to leave, then grabbed a chair, shoved it next to the door, climbed up on it and sat their swinging his legs while telling us, "You go have coffee with the other Mommies, I will wait right here for you." Jay's face (and heart) dropped. I got yet another lump in my throat. The assistant teacher hurried over and explained that Jack does this every day. When he feels insecure, he sits on the chair by the door. Eventually, he will join his friends and every once in a while go back to his chair. Jay looked at me and said, "We can't leave him like this!". I had both of my boys giving me the same sad face.
Argh. These boys. Both of my boys breaking my heart. I had to put away my mommy feelings and go with everything I know as a former child care center director and know that he just needs time to adjust. I gave Jack hugs and left the room with a sad little Jay, and, guess what, when we came back, he happily told us what all he had done at school!
Jack only ended up attending preschool for a month because of our move to Iowa. The last week of it, he LOVED it. I was so sad that he only got one good week in before we left and Lucy's teachers were quite sad to let her go. Jack's teachers told me that Jack is a very smart little boy, but they most impressed with his manners and his emotional inteligence level. Our first day in Iowa, Jack told me he wanted to go to his preschool! (Seriously, kiddo, that is when you learn to love it, once it is gone!) I have him enrolled in preschool for the fall, and he is having a hard time waiting! I just hope that he gets used to it a lot faster this time!
